How to make a bed

It takes a tremendous amount of effort into putting no effort into something. It’s really easy to put a little effort into something, like the way you make a bed and you get it somewhat right and then you say to yourself, well, that’s pretty decent, and then you just walk off because you have better things to do, like get on Tumblr for two hours.

But if you really wanna mess up making a bed, you have to invest some time. You have to make sure the flat sheet is bunched up just right and the comforter is upside down and backwards and coiled in an asymmetrical pattern, then you have to undo the pillow covers ever-so-slightly and sprinkle the bed with a pinch of Cheetos’ dust to complete the effect. It also helps if you dangle a pair of pants (not necessarily your own) off the side of the bed and scrape a little peanut butter on them. Furthermore, you have to spend twenty minutes considering how best to mess up your own bed to make sure you’re doing it right. I know I did.

~~La Stranezza, professional bedroom dirtier and break dance champion of the Southeast