In this modern world we live in, I think we can all agree that American “cheese” is the most disgusting thing ever.
Firstly, it isn’t even cheese. It’s a horrible monstrosity of nature that causes angels to weep and sad teenagers to play the guitar. The only resemblances between it and cheese are merely passing–you might mistake it from twenty feet away, but when you get close the mirage fails. Too late, though, you find; you have already been pulled into its trap. You are being smothered in an avalanche of cheese-like goo. You barely have time to make peace with your personal god when the goop enters into your mouth and smothers you. At last, you feel a strange sense of peace. The warmth of the cheese-like product–once destructive–becomes inviting, beckoning you to close your eyes. You do so, never to open them again.