1. You know that root beer is not just a delicious beverage, but also a color and use it in this sense regularly.
2. You own more than one article of purple clothing, because purple is rockin’ and you’re a sassy mofo who don’t give a poop if anyone tells you purple is gay because it makes you look fabulous.
3. You wear bow ties frequently. By which I mean almost every day. And on the days you don’t wear a bow tie, you feel like you’re missing a golden opportunity and you hate yourself a little more on the inside for it.
4. You read the style section in GQ. It doesn’t matter if it was only once–if you have ever read the style section in GQ magazine, regardless of whether or not you found their fashion tips insightful, then you are a metrosexual. They make you fill out a form alleging your metrosexuality before you’re even allowed in that part of the website.
5. You often find yourself (quietly or otherwise) judging people on their clothing choices. Especially socks. God, I hate people who wear socks that clash with the rest of their outfit. That’s my number one pet peeve of all time. IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE ENERGY TO COORDINATE YOUR SOCKS YOU DON’T NEED TO BE OUT IN PUBLIC.