I tried to make my own bow tie on Sunday. It started off all right, with me following this really nifty do-it-yourself guide, and ended up like this:
It could have gone worse. I could have sewn my fingers together, or sewn my ears to my fingers, or sewn my ears to my ears and thus defying basic human anatomy.
…Actually, that would have been really cool. I’ll have to save that idea for later.
At least I learned a valuable lesson from the experience. This valuable lesson is that a man’s place is not at a sewing machine. That lofty task is reserved for womankind, while it is man’s true place is to worship the ground women walk on because we really have no idea what we’re doing and you guys rock.