I amn’t writing this post

Amn’t, to quote a buddy of mine, is a good word.

It is entirely underused and underappreciated as far as contractions are concerned. Of course, a lot of its beauty comes from the fact that it is underused and underappreciated–after all, if we used pulchritudinous to describe every other thing, then how magical would it be? The answer: Well, maybe that’s not the best example…

Amn’t’s advantage over ain’t is that it’s a very uncommon word. You run into ain’ts three times before you get to the grocery store, but amn’ts are like good wine in a teetotaler’s cupboard. Its uncommon nature gives it an air of magic and mystery, much like an avocado in New Brunswick, or polar bears in Spain.

Ladies and gentleman, use amn’t if you want to appear bizarre and sophisticated. If you want to get along and appear normal, use ain’t. If you’re wooing a grammarian, I suggest am not, or not doing altogether, because they’re too busy parsing to gerund with you. 

~~La Stranezza


3 thoughts on “I amn’t writing this post

Say Anything

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s