I’ve always wondered what the Fn key on my computer does. The easy way to find out, of course, is to press it. But that would destroy the mystery. If I pressed it, it would become a button and lose all its allure. For now, it’s an enigma, and that’s the way I want it to stay.
That does not, however, prevent me from hypothesizing the main purpose of the Fn key. Right now, I’m really leaning towards a self-destruct button. One press and the computer disintegrates due to a glass tube of harsh acid being broken inside. Good for super spies and the frivolous rich.
Of course, I am neither, so a perhaps more efficient use for an otherwise unused key would be to tell me I’m beautiful on the inside whenever I’m having a delusional panic attack and trying to blow up my computer.
Okay. I gave into the temptation and pressed the Fn key. Nothing happened. ‘Tis a bad day for humanity…