I can’t do scary movies.
Yesterday I tried watching Evil Dead with some friends (yes, I have friends. Yes, they’re almost as weird as me.) and I failed miserably; a quarter of the way into the movie I had to leave because I was curled up in the fetal position behind one of the other moviegoers and it wasn’t getting any better. In fact, from what I pieced together from the information given me after the film by my friends who did make it all the way through, if I had stayed I would have pissed my pants and the pants of the person sitting next to me.
The moral of the story is that I should not be allowed to watch scary movie ever again. Even if I think it’s a good idea, and I tell you it’s a good idea, it’s not actually a good idea, and more likely a sign of delusion. At that point your best bet would be to lock me in my room and not let me out until I consent to watching My Little Ponies with you.