Stop whatever you’re doing, or whatever you were about to do. It’s procrastination time.
I’m procrastinating right now. Half-way through that first sentence, I impulsively opened a Facebook tab and didn’t even notice until it was too late. You see, the terrible thing about the internet is that while it’s great if you have an inquisitive mind and lots of free time to explore, if you have an inquisitive mind and you don’t have lots of free time to explore you don’t get anything done. There are a thousand and one productive things you could do besides checking your MySpace every five minutes, or whatever it is you youngsters do nowadays: you could compose a limerick, or start on that character analysis paper that you know you really ought to write. If you had more time, hell, you could even build a blanket fort in the living room and get really wasted and cry about the dog you had in third grade that had to go to a farm upstate…And you live in International Falls, Minnesota.
The point is there are hundreds of thousands of things you could do that are a better waste of your time than doing the thing I’m doing right now and berating you for doing in turn when I really ought to be looking over my econ notes or something. I’m a terrible person, now that I think of it, and there’s not really any point in listening to me. Go do something productive instead.