In Which Stranezza Uses Omphaloskepsis as a Platform to Tell You How Awesome is His Life

If you can guess what’s wrong with this post and post about it in the comments I will A) add you to my blogroll, if you’re not already there; and B) give you the option of writing a guest post.

One of the greatest feelings in this world is importance. The feeling that you, personally, have the power to do something worthwhile. My top three things in the world–to be listed shortly–all deserve their accolades because they remind us that we’re not complete failures.

The list goes:

  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Acting

Acting, in particular, is our main focus for today.

Let’s talk about how I got cast for the local high school’s production of Cinderella Waltz. I’m the Prince. Being the Prince is pretty cool, because a part is a part is a part, and all of the main roles are incredibly interesting, and also I have a lackey. More exhilarating than any of this–having a lackey, or a part, or (if I’m lucky) a people shooting hat–though, is the feeling of validation. The feeling you get when your peers tell you, “Oh, you did good. You’re a great actor.” Because it’s one thing to think you’re good (this is called self-esteem if you are good; and delusions if you aren’t.), and another for other people to think you’re good. There are a lot more other people than there are you, so it’s kind of important for them to think well of you, too. You are not an objective viewer when it comes to yourself. You could be the most sucky person in the world and still think you’re awesome. You could be the most awesome person in the world and still think you’re sucky.

That’s why God gave us other people. So we could unabashedly compare ourselves to them.

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11 thoughts on “In Which Stranezza Uses Omphaloskepsis as a Platform to Tell You How Awesome is His Life

  1. Within the italicized portion at the top, the comma before ‘if’ is unnecessary and the semicolon after ‘there’ should be a comma since it comes before a conjunction. The sentence about the coolness of being the prince is a run-on. There are a couple hyphens that should be dashes, however it might be a rendering problem on my end. I feel there is an extraneous ‘though.’ I would probably replace ‘validation’ with ‘validity.’ The next two sentences are actually fragments. I don’t think there should be a comma before ‘too.’ ‘Most sucky’ sounds better as ‘suckiest,’ but since neither are actual words I don’t think it matters. The last sentence is actually a fragment.

    Did I catch it?

    • I admit that the comma- semicolon- stuff in the italicised portion are honest errors, as that level of comprehension is beyond me. However, I would like to remind you that there is nothing necessarily wrong with either run-ons or fragments. They can be used to stylistic effect, and should not be dissed under any circumstances. The dismissal of fragments as valid literary stock will result in Wayne Brady choking a bitch.
      Validity and validation mean different things. Validity means authenticity, or genuineness. Validation is the act or process of being confirmed as valid.
      Most awesome is correct, however, so I chose most sucky in order to provide a parallel.
      Alas, you did not. I’m glad you spend so much time analyzing my post for the slightest error, though. It was really very thoughtful of you, and in no way motivated by a need to heavily criticize me because I said I didn’t like your blog post. I imagine someone of your intelligence would never stoop so low as that; but, of course, I have been mistaken in my judgments of other people’s intelligence before, and you can never really be sure about this sort of thing. Hopefully, whatever it is that motivated you is out of your system now and we can go on with our lives–you, writing subjectively okay stories which others may find fascinating but which I do not–and me, writing subjectively okay blog posts in which I refuse to use whole sentences.

      • I wasn’t trying to be a dick. You asked, so I told. I wasn’t even upset that you didn’t like my post. Anyone who gets their panties in a wad over criticism is not cut out for writing. Besides, the overwhelming praise for my piece makes up for the un-backed claim of subjectivity you just made.

        I don’t want to start a feud, but you’re being a dick.

      • 1. Maybe my assuming you were trying to get back at me was egocentric, but I maintain that something must have prompted you to do an English teacher once-over of my blog post at 12:04 AM.
        2. I know how to take criticism. It might depress me for days and give me chronic panic attacks, but I can take it.
        3. Why is my claim un-backed? And what claim am I making? All I stated was that I didn’t fancy your piece. Good for you if everyone else loves it.
        4. How am I being a dick, Jake?

      • 1. What prompted me to do a grammar check was your request for someone to point out what was wrong, so don’t get flattered. You asked for it. I suffer from insomnia, so that’s why it was so late. Who cares?
        2. Apparently not, since you can’t accept mine.
        3. Your claim is unbacked because you failed to back it. You have no evidence or outside testimony to say that my work is only good in a subjective way. Your claim, in fact, is highly subjective. Your response is the only negative response I’ve had. Not to say I don’t value your opinion; I just wish you would give me a more well-thought-out critique than “It’s not good.”
        4. You know, I don’t know. Maybe because every word I’ve spoken or written to you (whether sincere or in jest) about blogs or posts or writing has been returned with the utmost childish contempt. It seems like no matter my intention, you turn it into something negative. I don’t quite understand it. Perhaps it is your cynical nature, perhaps you have little confidence, perhaps you just don’t like me, or perhaps you’re jealous. These things are the most likely to cause such an overly defensive reaction. Not an accusation, but a gentlemanly observation.

        I’m not trying to start a fight. Honestly, I think you’re a cool dude. I do, however, think you should be more positive. Cynicism goes a long way on the Internet, but it takes real talent to add positivity to someone else’s life.

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