My flashdrive is shiny. Maybe that’s why they’re called flashdrives…
No, the real reason they’re called flashdrives is because in 1903 Ernest Flash decided to drive his car into the old town well, and when he finally managed to crawl his way out it was the future, and the well had been paved over by new-fangled technology. In its place stood a fancy-schmancy redbrick building, full of marvelous inventions.
The main invention was called a GoStick, named after its inventor, George Go.
George was eating his tuna salad sandwich in the breakroom when the ground stepped aside and decided to let Ernie come through.
The first thing Ernie saw, with his decrepit red eyes, was the tuna salad. He said to himself but also outloud, “I want me some of that thar sandwich!” and because he had been climbing for the past hundred years or so, his legs had become super-strong and he went right through where George had been standing.
At that moment in time and space, the Tuna Fish Sandwich (TFS) thought to itself, “You know, I’m rather be at the Bahamas right now,” and because the TFS was actually a Time Lord, it could do that, and so Ernie went right through where the TFS had been existing.
He landed in empty space, right in front of the breakroom counter, where a prototype GoStick lay. He picked it up and said aloud, “Ooh, shiny…” and he twirled it around in the air and the light caught it and blinded him, flashed him in the eye. As this went on, George came up from behind with a coffee mug and bashed him in the head. He collapsed on the ground and died at the ripe old age of 135.
None of this went unnoticed by the police. Before long, the research facility was swarming with detectives, detectives who noticed one too many anomalies, and they had to shut the facility down.
They sold the patent for the GoStick to a Tokyo-based company, who gave one good long look at it and said, “What the hell sort of name is GoStick?” and renamed it the flashdrive.
That, my dear readers, is how the flashdrive became the flashdrive.