So, as you should all know, Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino) is the second or third greatest person ever. James Joyce is the first greatest. The second greatest may not exist, but if they do then Donald Glover is the third.
(Speaking of which, have you all set your DVRs to record the Community season premiere next Friday Oct. 19th at 8:30/7:30c? Well, why not? Go do it now.)
Not only is he an awesome actor, he’s also an awesome rapper, and a rapper I’ve been listening to almost non-stop recently.Now, I know what you’re thinking: White people listen to rap music? What you’re forgetting, of course, is that as a dirty Mexican I’m allowed to listen to whatever I want. That’s how the universe works.
Back to Gambino: There’s no way that man is naturally as talented as he is. After a lot of deduction (by which I mean sitting around drinking coffee until I came up with an acceptably inane theory) I have concluded that Donald Glover isn’t actually a real person, but a gestalt amalgamation of Kanye’s mad beat skills, Tina Fey’s madcap awkwardness, and Denzel Washington’s Denzel Washington-ness. It’s like Jesus–I think that’s his name–he works at the taquería down the street from where I wish I lived–rolled their talent up into Burrito form and Donald Glover ate it using his exceptionally soft hands.* And James Franco was there, too, studying for his role as the psychotic son of the Green Goblin who gets trapped under a rock and has to cure Alzheimer’s to escape.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
*Donald’s hands are the part of him that’s actually him. The rest is controlled by a hive mind.