Wheelchair Ninjas

Unrelated to post but important anyway. I suck at detoxing myself off video games. Instead of quitting cold turkey like I wanted to, I did the logically thing and bought Mass Effect 3. Oh well. At least I’m not hooked on ME2 any more. 

Breaking news: My American government professor is a wheelchair ninja.

Qualifier: That doesn’t mean I think he’s a better professor than I already didn’t. It just means he’s a ninja confined to a wheelchair, like Oracle from DC Comics or the alternate-universe version of Obama where he does take the leprechaun’s advice and keep the locket for himself, instead of following his primordial instinct and returning it to the urchin, thus granting him the preternatural ability to…Well, we won’t get into that. I rather like my liver intact, thank-you-very-much.

Anyways, Encarta has this to say (or at the very least should have this to say) on the subject of wheelchair ninjas:

A person who, while having all the skills, agility, and awesomeness of a ninja, is confined to a wheelchair and must defeat their opponent by cleverly manipulating them into researching the rich and fascinating history of Vermont. These persons are not to be trifled with, as they are generally very good at handling a stapler.

Encarta, of course, forgets to mention the fact that wheelchair ninja also get issued a two-hundred pound attack hellhound that fits inside a small briefcase and have a tendency to throw rocks at people whose names start with S and end in whatever letter mine ends in. Yes, they definitely need to add that.

~~La…Stanley, was it?

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