Fifth Law of Old Navy

All photo IDs are bad; and they only get worse.  I cleaned my room yesterday. Not like deep-clean-total-eradication-of-dust-and-germs clean it, but more like get-out-all-the-shit-that-isn’t-mine-and-put-the-shit-that-is-mine-away-or-at-the-very-least-where-I-don’t-have-look-at-it. Anyways, as I was cleaning my room, I found my old photo ID from back before I had a license and had to get one so as to be able to fly on aeroplanes. In it, I look like a Mexican Toad from Mario, literally–my hair is poofed out several inches from my skull and it makes me appear as a strange mushroom person. Also, for some reason, I’m wearing a tweed jacket. (Don’t ask. I can’t answer.)

Of course, as embarrassing as my old photo ID is, my driver’s license is even worse. In my photo ID, I just look like a big dork–you know, the type of guy who is afraid of spiders and reads Batman comic books. In other words, I look like myself, but doubly so. In my driver’s license, though, I look–no joke–like a Middle-Eastern terrorist (complete with greasy Mexistache) intent on destroying the free world and possibly several Arby’s along the way. This is not a good thing.

Fact–When I went through security at the airport, I showed the TSA dude my license and he literally stared at it for about a minute. It was five in the morning and I didn’t particularly feel like being felt up by obese security guards. I said, “I shaved since then.” The guy laughed nervously and said, “Noticed,” but I’m pretty sure he was this close *holds up fingers to indicate an extremely small distance* from going fmj on me.

These facts have lead me to the conclusion that all photo IDs are bad, and they only get worse. We can only hope I don’t have a huge zit on my face when the time comes to renew my license. Well, I can only hope. You’d probably think it’s funny. Truth be told, I’d think it’s funny, too.

~~La Stranezza

P.S. This post rocks because I finally get to use the facial hair tag.


4 thoughts on “Fifth Law of Old Navy

  1. *gasp* Not Arby’s! Actually, no, I don’t care, if you are intent on destroying them, just save the curly fries and we’re all good.

    And is the Meixstache coming back, or no?

Say Anything

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s