Good news, everyone! I’m back from my camping trip–yes, six days of living fancy-free, sleeping outdoors, brewing coffee over an open-fire and abstaining from the use of frivolous luxuries like Oxford commas. I got slightly sunburned, which wasn’t fun because I have skin delicate like a coconut, or possibly a fruit slightly more delicate than a coconut like an orange or something. It wasn’t all bad, though–I went and I saw the University of Arkansas in Fayettville and ate Taco Bell without having violent diarrhoea. And then when it was time to start packing it rained rather hard and then everything got wet so when we arrived at our so-called house we had to set up our tent again and then I ate spaghetti because spaghetti is delicious.
Anyways, this is what happened next: I watched Community and it was friggin’ hilarious (thank goodness for dvr), and then I thought to myself, “Well, I really ought to go and write a blog post because I have wrote anything in a week” and then that’s what I’m doing write now. Not to be a time-travelling eyeball-stealing oracle or anything like that, but the next thing I’m going to do is finish this sentence.
And now for the news with me wearing a funny cape.
Thanks, me sans cape. Well, as you all know, Mother’s Day is today–and if you didn’t know that, then you’re obviously a Godless Communist who should be shot, because Hitler didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day either, you Jew-hating freak! Anyways, you should probably get your mum something nice like a newspaper hat or a rub-on tattoo…I dunno…and you should get me something for my mother, too, because my evil plan failed (it turns out you can’t ship tigers over the internet).