Today, On La Stranezza: Behind the Pretentious Pseudonym, we’re going to interview the man himself. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Chuck Norris!
Oh, wait, that’s tomorrow’s episode. Never mind that.
Erm…well…as I don’t really have any scheduled guests, looks like I’ll just have to interview myself. *Sighs* I loathe Thursdays…
Q: So, La Stranezza, what made you want to start a blog? Was it an overwhelming lust for gold? Because I totally get that. I actually ransacked William H. Macy’s house yesterday looking for his collection of solid gold breastplates.
A: Well, Essy–if I can call you that, which I can, as you’re me–I don’t think that it was the lust for gold that got me (although that played a large part) but instead my desire to test out some new mind control techniques I invented. To quote Wordsworth, You should totally buy my new album: “Stranezza on Stranezza–It’s Not Actually As Autoerotic As It Sounds”. Available at Target.
Q: What poem is that from?
A: One of the good ones.
Q: Yes, yes, I see. Now, for the next question: Have you ever killed a man?
A: What? That’s on the questioning thing? What kind of blog-told-in-mock-documentary-form is this?!
Q: I’m the one asking the questions here.
A: Yes, but you’re me!…Oh, fine. No, I have never killed a man…I have killed a dog, though. Remember that one time, when I was at Target and I was trying to buy a new Stranezza Brand(tm) Lil’ Lasers Kit and this small kid ran up in front of me and bought the last one?
A: Well, I followed him home, and I was going to murder his dog for revenge, but he didn’t have one, so I drove around town for awhile until I found a dead dog and then I put it on his porch and drove off.
Q: So you didn’t actually kill a dog, you just thought about doing so?
A: I’m not a monster, okay!
Q: Oh, but aren’t you? Let’s let the audience decide for themselves:
I’m La Stranezza, and he’s La Stranezza, and that’s all the time we have for today. Join us next week, when we interview La Stranezza’s sworn enemy, The Mailman. There’s a 95% chance that something will explode.