So, I took my driver’s exam yesterday and failed miserably, due to the fact that I’m over-cautious.
Now, you may be asking yourself, what the fudge popsicle is meant by “over-cautious,” and why is it hyphenated like that? And now you’re probably asking yourself, how come La Stranezza always poses questions he intends to answer in second person form? It’s beginning to make you angry, I can tell.
Over-cautious: adjective. Of or pertaining to the fact that you’re really freaked out because the guy who’s giving you a driving exam is six foot, weighs about two hundred pounds; the fact that you have a horrible horrible flu and you can hardly stay awake; and/or the fact that you don’t know how to proceed at intersections without a stop sign. IT WASN’T FUN AT ALL AND I THINK I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS.
So now I’m going to go take my driving test again today, because apparently there’s not a set time limit you have to wait before you can take the test again, and also my dad and I drove around for an hour and a half yesterday evening practising left turns in intersections without stop signs, because, like Derek Zoolander, I can’t turn left, and when I can it’s usually not pretty. Also like Derek Zoolander, I have crazy hair and Will Ferrell tried to get me to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. But other than that, we’re really nothing alike.
So, in roughly four hours, I’m going to be heading to take my driving exam again, and, if all goes exactly according to plan, I’ll get my license, and then you’ll be sorry. YOU’LL ALL BE SORRY! MAHOGWA!