Sinclairian Cinema

One could not possibly conceive of all the awesome films in the theatres right now–Muppets, The Artist, The Descendants, Hugo, Tintin, Addiction Incorporated, to name a few. The only problem is, save for the Muppets, the closest place I can view any of those films is my state capital, roughly two hours away. I suppose this is the price I pay for living in small town America–having to watch craptastical mainstream drivel with no artistic value. I mean, really: Not even Hugo? What do you have against Martin Scorsese, Cinema of Mine? He’s brilliant, resplendent like the noonday sun! This creams my metaphysical and in no way literal corn.

Of course, it’s not just my fair city where you can’t see any good Indie films–it’s cities like mine all over this grand granfalloon of ours. From The Red Wood Forest to Staten Island. Or something like that. It would seem that you pretty much have to live in a city with a population of 50k or bigger to watch a fringe film like Reservoir Dogs that borders on the edge of mainstream but still doesn’t have the propensity to appeal to a large audience, and probably at least a population of 100k (if you’re lucky) if you wanna see something further out there, like Shame (which I desperately want to see but won’t probably get to due to the fact that it’s rated NC-17 and disturbingly erotic my mum wouldn’t even let me watch Kubrick’s Lolita)

So, short story long: Just another reason to hate this Sinclairian wasteland I call home. Of course, it could be worse…It could always be worse. At least here we have people who’ve actually heard of/seen Reservoir Dogs or Shame, whereas back in the wretched old days when I lived in Tennessee where my social outings went something like this:

Redneck: Duh, watcha doin’?

Me: I’m reading Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, a classic epic of Homeric proportions pertaining to pre-Industrial working-class strife and political dissent in early 19th century France.

Redneck: Them fightin’ words! Go hogs!

Me: Don’t you mean, “Go Volunteers”?

Redneck: Yeah, sure, probably.

*Cue banjo music*

Aaaaand scene.

~~La Stranezza

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