I got really bored earlier, and so, for no apparent reason, decided to take some photographs. But not just any photographs–no, I decided to take photographs of chairs!
What’s so special about chairs, you ask? Nothing, actually. You see, I was going to go on an extended tangent on how the great Greek philosopher Pythagoras Cusionas invented the chair blah blah blah flying monkeys blah blah but then I realised that I only got six hours of sleep last night and I’ve been up since 7:00 am (I’m scheduling this post), and that I’m really in no condition to finish off this post, so I’m going to quit whilst I’m ahead, get a few hours of sleep, and most likely finish twenty-four hours from now, due to the fact that my weekends are basically extended tortuous episodes in which the amount of creative output I achieve in a forty-eight hour time period is roughly correlated to the precise amount of hairs Alan Moore has in his beard at any given time. This number is not as static as you might think, mainly due to Einstein’s Theory of Relative Awesomeness.
I have mouth sores|New game, let’s see how long I can keep this Listerine in my mouth.
Damn, it stings! Curse you Johnson & Johnson Healthcare Products of Skillman, NJ! You’ve tricked me into committing this heinous crime of caring for my teeth one time too many! I can’t stand it any more! There is only one way out: Stop using exclamation points!
Me: But it’s so many funs!
Sense of Good Judgement: I think you mean so much fun!
Me: Whatever I mean, you’re guilty, too! Exclamation points!!!!!
Sense of Good Judgment: Bad Stranezza! See, this wouldn’t be happening if the cable wasn’t on the fritz again.
And now the Listerine is starting to anaesthetise my mouth, so I should dump it out.
Such an odd, tingly sensation…What do we call this feeling, my SGJ?
SGJ: I dunno. Ask Dictionary Man!
Dictionary Man: Erm…This is actually more of Quote Man’s field of speciality.
Equality Dude: Hey, hold up, now! Why are we all guys? This hallucination is blatantly sexist, ageist, and racist!
Me: Well, I mean, you’re all manifestations of my subconscious, and as I’m a guy, and a cracker, and a teen, I think it’s safe to assume my subconscious is all of those things, too.
Equality Dude: Fair enough, then.
Quote Man: Can’t find anything, sorry. Looks like we’ll have to conclude this, then, without any sort of resolution, or plot, or anything especially in particular, least of all grammar.
P.S. See, I told you I needed sleep!