It has come to my attention that various people (at least two) have deemed my blog completely and utterly confusing and not at all sane. I have to the conclusion that these people are the only ones who know the score, because anyone who assumes that I blog in order to make sense is off their Ottoman.
Truth be told, there’s only one reason to blog–vanity. If you are vain enough to think that people will listen to and hear what you have to say, then congratulations! You are exactly the same as the other fifty bajillion and three people who blog in the known universe, myself included. Here, have a cookie.
Blech! Macaroon! I hate almonds!
So, where was I? Oh, yes. I don’t make sense, but it really doesn’t make sense or not as long as I can get chumps like you to read my blog, which, I am obviously succeeding at because you happen to be reading this post right now as we speak! Mahogwa! Once again, you have been fooled by my various literary devices of literariness and chocolate turtle cheesecake!*
No, wait, where are you going? I didn’t mean to insult you, really!
Okay, well, maybe I did. But only because it helps alleviate stress better than any other PG-rated action I can think of, except for perhaps baking biscotti because, let’s face it, everybody loves biscotti.
*Incidentally, my mum makes an excellent turtle cheesecake. That and her German potato salad are about the only two things she makes well.