Characterisation Time!

Nananananaa CAN’T TOUCH THIS!

And, by “This”, I obviously am referring to my mad characterisation chopz, which are pretty mad.

Why, you might wonder, am I telling you about my “chopz” [sic]?

Well, it’s actually quite simple. I am, for some strange reason, planning my NaNoNovel this year, perchance in the hopes that it’ll turn out better than last year’s–which, believe you me, was a huge piece of shite.

Part of this planning process, so I am told, involves developing your characters; and so that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to develop the three characters I have right now by using this odd device known as a “character chart thingamagig that is mostly used for RPs, but which can be used for character development, too”.


Name: Heifer

Species: Cow

Gender: Male

Age: Fully mature

Physical description: Black-and-white piebald, branded on rear. Later on the story, Heifer takes the shape of various meat-based products–most notably a hamburger patty.

Personality: This cow is a bit of a profound thinker. He mostly spends most of his time grazing and pondering the meaning of his existence.

Occupation: Representative of all cowkind.


Name: Charlie Madsen

Species: Human

Gender: Yet to be decided…Possibly male, possibly female, possibly transsexual. It really depends on how I feel on the first.

Age: Middle aged…Somewhere between 30-45. This has also yet to be decided

Physical Description: Dirty blonde hair, large spectacles. Medium-sized nose and pencil-thin lips. About six foot tall. Likes to wear tasteful, non-holiday themed cardigans.

Personality: A bit of a germaphobe, and incredibly paranoid, as he/she/zie lives alone in a tiny apartment in the heart of the city. Has an affinity for Chopin, and refuses to take the subway–even if it means they’ll be late. Morning person. Knows Spanish. Has a slight Coca-Cola addiction–although they switched over to Coke Zero recently, because they’re worried about their heart. Has very few friends and likes to go for long, rambly walks in the evening.

Occupation: Works a desk job at a large corporation.


Name: Emily Kane. Credit to Alli for pointing out how awesome the name Emily is.

Species: Human

Gender: Female…Duh.

Age: Around the same age as Charlie…30-35, probably.

Physical Description: Relatively short. Black hair. Very little emotional expression. Various wrinkles.

Personality: Strict vegan, dedicated to her job, blunt, dogged, serious. Has a fear of spiders. Low tolerance for lollygagging. No discernible sense of humour. Doesn’t mind sticking her hand into a cadaver if it means finding out what she needs to know. Gritty. Drives a classic Fiat 1300. Always wears the same pair of ugly-as-hell Blunnies.

Occupation: A detective investigating Charlie’s mysterious disappearance.

Aaaaand, that’s about it, so…

~~La Stranezza




10 thoughts on “Characterisation Time!

    • Actually, I’m not even sure how you would classify Charlie at all…They don’t do anything heroic, and the only evil thing they do in the entire story is eat Heifer. Charlie isn’t really a hero, or a villain, or an anti-hero. Charlie just is, and that’s all there is to that.

  1. Yay for affinities for Chopin!

    Also. The well-known piebald breed of cow the holstien, is a dairy breed. I don’t know any piebald beef breeds. Just thought I would mention it.

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