Barbecuing Takes the Fun Out of Being Alive

I feel like something out of the wrong end of an elephantine chicken.

Do you know why?

Barbecue.

Barbecue did this to me.
You see, I’m pretty much an omnivore. I love eating meat, but I have to have vegetables pretty much every meal.

Today, the closest thing I had to a vegetable was ginger ale. My stomach is full of chicken wings and high fructose corn syrup. It doesn’t go agree with me whatsoever.

It doesn’t exactly help that I’ve been up since five A.M.–once again, because of barbecue.

I think I’m going to pass out now.

Or maybe have violent diarrhea.

Or maybe both at the same time! That would be awesome.

By awesome, I mean incredibly horrific; the worst moment of my life.

While we’re on said subject, I’d also like to add that I’m in the process of writing a kick-ass essay about the time I bruised my kidney for Composition class. If it turns out the way I want it to, I plan on publishing the relatively clean version on here for your viewing pleasure. I’ve already shared it with two or three of my other compatriots and they all found it humorous.

IGcitltdifhkckjhh kflhfif,krfhujg v njbkdv; nkcxlv :K    cx;kvfgfdgb

There

was

this CREEPY EaSterNEUROPEAN guy at the

barbecue contest tOdaY.

He seemed a bit LIKE A SPY

to me.

but then again, I can’t really

function at all ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Withoutggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

My Coffee.

And I hadn’t had any when he came BY.seafoamgreenseafoamgreenexitsthebuilding

icanmaybEtalktonarwhalsandolphinsandponiesandwhateveryounowwhatimean?

He was trying to

                           Murder me.

Then again,

I guess you could say,

everyone wants to Murder me.

i’m just that paranoid. 

seE whaT i meaN?

I’m talking in different colours

101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101

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