I’m going to be in a barbecue cook-off this weekend!
Which roughly translates to: Waking up at five in the morning on Saturday, driving to the local community college, starting up a 500 pound grill, and then standing out in a field all day long, cooking meat with a bunch of guys that are all thirty years older than me.
It’s probably going to be more fun than that, though, as I won’t have to stand around the grill the entire time, and my friends should be there, and grilling meat really isn’t all that hard. You basically just make sure that the temperature remains about the same heat the entire time.
Oh, and also, I’ll get to wear my really soft and comfy Polo hoodie. It looks like a more frumpy version of the mammoth from Sesame Street, but it’s still really warm.
Speaking of warm, it’s cooled off considerably ’round these here parts since Saturday. It’s been in the 70’s-80’s during the day all week, and dropped off to the 50’s during the night. It’s so friggin’ awesome.
*Does that spinny chair revolving thing that he loves doing so much*
Breaking news! My birthday is in precisely one week. Yes, you know what that means: Presents.
If it’s not too much to ask, I’d really like my subscribers to send me live goats. I wasted my entire stock to-day appeasing Thor.
Please send all goats to 111 Paper Street, Hugo Cabret, XY, 12345, USA, Care Of The Old Man In The Shack With Two Lazy Eyes.*
For those who don’t subscribe, sending me positive thoughts via any psychic channels available to you would be fine.
*This is in no way a real address, and only people with names that have iambic pentameter should send goats.