2012: Revenge of the Chick Peas

I have a dream!

It’s about falafel.

I have a dream that, one day, in the near future, everyone will eat falafel for lunch and dinner. Not because they want to, though–but because American will become one ginormous, never-ending field of chick peas!

So, in reality, it’s actually more like a nightmare than a dream. I mean, it’s a bit unnerving to think that your house will one day be replaced by a bunch of chick peas.

To stop this Chickpeapocalypse, there is only one course of action we can take.

Plan Saving Amerika Chick Pea Death

  1. Firstly, we have to all wear funny hats. Without the protection of funny hats, the chick peas that shall rain down from the heavens during the impending chick pea invasion will attach to our heads and take over our minds. This will cloud our judgement and prevent us from taking further pre-emptive steps.
  2. Secondly, after the chick pea invasion occurs, it is absolutely necessary to burn down our homes. The chick peas will have put down roots in the wooden frame and by burning down houses we can eliminate 90% of the potential damages.
  3. Thirdly, we must search out and destroy people who didn’t wear funny hats in the first place, because they won’t be much more than hosts for the parasites by then.
  4. Finally, we have to drink tea. Lots of tea. The natural antioxidants found in tea will boost our psychic powers, which we can then use to mentally destroy the evil chick peas.
I am positive that if we take these four steps, the falafel nightmare will never come to pass.
~~La Stranezza
P.S., happy Labor Day!
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