Revisionist (and A Tangent of Sorts)

As ninety percent of you may have noticed, the other ten percent of my readership being a psychotic 78 year old man, I did a lot–and by a lot, I mean a lot–of updating and retooling on my blog yesterday. For instance, my About page is completely different, Vivian the Cow has been updated to include the chapter Vivian vs. Lavender, and, most distinctively, the background colour has been changed from that drab shade of brown to this new kick ass shade of purple.

Now, while I personally a fan of this shade of purple, several vocal critics *cough*Thay!*cough* apparently do not enjoy my taste in colour palettes, so I guess a poll should be in order.

Respond to my poll or face the drastic consequences of my wrath.

Actually, to be quite honest, I really don’t have a wrath. I wish I did. But, alas, I’m just too nice…Of course, I’m not above putting anthrax in your cobb salad.

Actually, to be quite honest, I already have put anthrax in your cobb salad. You might consider going to the emergency room. Pronto.

As a tangent, I’m going to add that you’ve just experienced the almost imponderable joy of reading a post made by phase three sleep depraved Stranezza. I’ll go over the phases real quick with you:

  • Phase I: Normal functionality, a tendency to crave coffee. Stranezza’s primary state of being.
  • Phase II: A tendency to grumble and move sluggishly. May not respond as quickly. Slightly more depressed.
  • Phase III: This is the biggest variable of them all, so we’re going to divide it into two sections: Phase III C and Phase III NC. Phase III C is with coffee, and is quite similar to Phase I, except for more hyper and with slightly the same philosophical depth of phase IV; most creatively productive phase of them all. Phase III NC is without coffee, in which I refuse to make sense to any human being and comprehend anything more than the simplest of statements. Continually forgets things. Most depressed of all the phases.
  • Phase IV: This is phase I reach after twenty hours or so of sleepless. I will talk without filtering out my words on practically any subject, and what doesn’t make me cry makes me laugh. I’ll usually think profoundly about the meaning of life and sometimes experience ego death.
  • And, last but not least, Phase V. This is the one Phase you do not want to see. I have only experienced it once, and, if I had a deity of some sort, I’d probably pray to said deity to keep me from experiencing it again. I’m aggressive, illogical, and have a tendency to growl and/or bite people. *Sighs* That poor lady in the gas station in Wall, South Dakota…If I knew who she was, I’d send her flowers. Many, many flowers.
And, now that I have gone over all my states of sleeplessness with you, I am reminded that I should probably get some sleep, too.
~~La Stranezza.
P.S. The story about the lady in Wall, South Dakota is real. Yeah. That’s how bad phase five is.

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