The End

This is my last post.

I may start a future blog at a later date in time and post a link to it here.

Until then, lovelies, au revoir.

~~La Stranezza

If you look closely you’ll find what you’re looking for

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~~La Stranezza

Yesterday, I saw a picture of a cat eating spaghetti and I laughed even harder than I do at comic sans.

This is just another sign of my increasingly-worse mental state.

I think I will see a doctor, and take them on a magical unicorn ride with me

and have a picnic under a willow tree

and when we’re there we can whisper each other our secrets like pre-adolescent girls

we will eat ice cream together and watch the sunset

~~La Stranezza

How to break a bed

The easiest way is to use it heavily for several years. However, most of us don’t have several years on hands to idly lounge in bed and…uhh…watch Doctor Who for six hours a day.

One way that I just thought of using my coffee-addled brain is to take out a screw every night for about a week, so the bed gradually starts losing its sturdiness and then eventually collapses and comically injures the person(s) on it when it does.

Another rather humorous way of breaking a bed would be to create a black hole underneath it, thereby sucking the occupant and everyone they love into the black void of the unknown. But you can’t do that, because I wanna do that and I don’t know if the fabric of reality can take more than black hole at a time.

~~La Stranezza

How to make a bed

It takes a tremendous amount of effort into putting no effort into something. It’s really easy to put a little effort into something, like the way you make a bed and you get it somewhat right and then you say to yourself, well, that’s pretty decent, and then you just walk off because you have better things to do, like get on Tumblr for two hours.

But if you really wanna mess up making a bed, you have to invest some time. You have to make sure the flat sheet is bunched up just right and the comforter is upside down and backwards and coiled in an asymmetrical pattern, then you have to undo the pillow covers ever-so-slightly and sprinkle the bed with a pinch of Cheetos’ dust to complete the effect. It also helps if you dangle a pair of pants (not necessarily your own) off the side of the bed and scrape a little peanut butter on them. Furthermore, you have to spend twenty minutes considering how best to mess up your own bed to make sure you’re doing it right. I know I did.

~~La Stranezza, professional bedroom dirtier and break dance champion of the Southeast